If you’ve had the average amount of experience when it comes to relationships you know what cheating is. It can hurt like nothing else on this earth. Cheating burns at your very soul because it takes every concrete belief you had about your lover and turns it into doubt. Upon the discovery of an unfaithful person you immediately sink into each and every moment you’ve shared with your lover. From birthdays to candlelight dinners, you analyze everything with a humongous dose of skepticism. You start to question every moment. You think back to every romantic night in which the two of you bared your souls and you replace your face with the co-conspirator. Did he say the same things to her? Did she kiss him the way that she kisses me? How many times did they make love? Am I going to get sick? How can I start over?
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But there’s an aspect to cheating that is rarely discussed. What exactly is cheating? For some people it’s the fact that you slept with another person. For others it’s a kiss. I’ve even heard women complain that they’ve felt cheated on if the man watched adult movies.
What exactly is cheating?
Cheating means different things for everyone. There isn’t a clear definition. There are so many variations of ways in which we harm each other that it is almost incomprehensible to try to analyze. In the age of social media and the internet you can easily add two more methods of cheating to those traditional ways of thinking.
But there are several ways in which a person can know if they’re cheating or have been cheated upon. Here are 5 ways to know if you’re cheating:
1. Would you be afraid to reveal the act to your partner? If you’re doing something like communicating with a female without your girlfriend knowing it, what do you think her reaction would be if she found out? Would she accept the fact that you keep female friends? Or would she blow a gasket and throw all of your personal belongings onto the front yard? If you’re going out of your way to hide something and you’re afraid of your partner’s reaction, you’re probably cheating.
2. Would you accept your partner doing the same thing? How comfortable would you be if your man spent all of his time talking to random women on social media? Would you be jealous? Would you view those women as his friends or would you start to believe they may be after him? Like it or not, roleplaying is a valid barometer for cheating. If you couldn’t accept the same thing from your mate, then guess what? You’re probably cheating.
3. Has the 3rd party said some questionable things? Men and women talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. Eventually someone is going to cross the line and breech dating topics. If this person were truly your friend then there would be no way you could have a conversation about “favorite positions” and think it is cool. As soon as a question like that is asked that person has disrespected your significant other. If they disrespect the person you’re in a relationship with and you ignore it and continue? You’re probably cheating.
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4. Breech of designated time: There’s time for yourself and then there’s relationship-time. Everyone knows what that is. That is specific time you have allocated for your significant other. You use that time for movies, talking, date night, or other romantic endeavors. That time specifically belongs to you and your mate. So if you find yourself using slick division to try to reallocate that time to a new face, guess what? You’re probably cheating. Somewhere along the line your mate will object. And what usually follows is some excuse about working late. The truth is never revealed. And that truth usually means you want to play a little. A relationship is about responsibility aka routine. While you may alter that routine jointly, one person choosing to do so is a clear sign of dirty play.
5. The Cash Crunch: Most relationships work within an agreed upon budget. But with the way relationships have changed over the last few years it’s not uncommon for couples to choose to maintain their own budgets. Financial independence is not necessarily a bad thing. But when you find yourself spending secret piles of cash and not being able to disclose the fact that you’re spending more of your cash on lunches with your new “friend” at work then guess what? You’re probably cheating.